Smarter-Man

This segment is a takeoff of Spider-Man 3.

Summary
After Peter was bitten by a spider, He knows everything.

Characters
Peter Parker

Dr. Curt Connors

Dr. Jay Connors

Alistaire Smythe

Venom

Spider

Transcript
(Scene starts at Connors Science Labaratories, Inc.)

Dr. Jay: ...And this is the All-Spider, this spider has all the abilities of other spiders.

(Spider comes to Peter's arm)

Spider: Mmm...FLESH!

(spider bites Peter)

Peter: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

(the class looks at him)

Dr. Jay: Anything wrong, Mr. Parker?

(long silence)

Peter: 567 plus 969 is 1536.

(Peter breaks symbiote-keeper)

Peter: Oh ho ho! Bless you, my good man.

Man: You didn't sneeze on me, man.

(Buildings crash)

'''Dr Jay: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!'''

Man: Parker, come on! DO SOMETHING!!!!!

Peter: Oh, I know! I'll calcuate the title!

(Title Card: Smarter-Man)

(1989 Years later...)

(The future.)

Peter: And I love math.

Dr. Curt: Wow. You must have been watching Discovery Channel too much.

Peter: No, I did not.

Dr. Curt: Maybe History Channel?

Peter: Maybe.

Dr. Curt: Well then, you're hired.

Peter: Of where?

Dr. Curt: Being a scientist in Fart-corp.

Peter: Oh, thank you!

Dr. Curt: Don't mention it. By the way, Are you like the guy from Limitless?

Peter: Yep.

(roof gets attacked)

Peter: WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Dr. Curt: THE ROOF IS BEING ATTACKED BY-Uh, a black alien.

Venom: Where are you, Spider-Man?

Peter: '''I'M NOT SPIDER-MAN!!! I'M SMARTER-MAN!!!'''

Venom: Booooorring superhero name, Parker!

Dr. Curt: STOP THAT ALIEN, SMARTER-MAN!!!

Peter: I don't know...All my superpowers are just math.

Dr. Curt: AAAAnd science. Oh by the way, I'm not Connors

(Connors removes his head to reveal Alistaire)

Peter: ALISTAIRE SMYTHE?

Alistaire: Look, Math-head, I'm the Spider-Man around here. You know, I also got bitten by a spider too.

Peter: AUGH! I wanted to be Spider-Man!

Alistaire: You were actually bitten by a---Brainiac Spider.

Peter: Oh. I thought it was a radioactive spider...

Venom: THERE YOU ARE!!!

Peter: (screams)

(episode pauses with music playing)

(segment ends)

Trivia

 * Fart-corp is a parody of Oscorp.
 * Mary Jane Watson, Harry Osborn, Sandman, J. Jonah Jameson and Gwen Stacy did not appear in this segment.
 * This is the first time Spider-Man appears on MAD @ Collegehumor.
 * "Math-head" Is a parody of the cops' catchphrase to Spider-Man, "web-head".
 * Dr. Connors mistaked Venom as a black alien in this segment.